Community Mediation Services
P.O. Box 177
Augusta, ME 04332-0177
Tel/TTY: 207-621-6848
Tel: 207-621-6848
Toll Free/TTY: 1-800-381-0609
Fax: 207-621-8399
E-mail: mediate@gwi.net
CMS
is located at the corner of Winthrop Street and the Reed Center
Road in Hallowell
Visit us on the Web!
www.communitymediationservices.org
In this issue:
From the Director--The Neutral as
Advocate? by Tracy Quadro
CMS in the News
Teamwork
C.A.M.P. 2007
Dealing with Difficult People
DHHS Training
Donors, Grant Sources and Mediators
Hails and Farewells
CMS in the News!
In addition to the wonderful press before
and after our wildly successful Old Hallowell Day event, CMS
was featured in the August 12, 2007 edition of the Lewiston Sun
Journal. The story, written by Lindsay Tice, profiled the Protection
from Harassment Mediation project that we currently offer in
the Lewiston District Court. This worthwhile program continues
to be a useful addition to the court system, but is in need of
a financial boost to keep it going and reduce the burden on the
very generous Lewis J. Fisher Foundation, which has been the
sole funder of this program thus far. With great publicity such
as that provided by the Sun Journal, perhaps we can not only
keep this valuable program going, but begin similar programs
in other courts!
If you’d like to contribute to the Lewiston District Court
Protection from Harassment Mediation Pilot Project, please send
a check with the notation, “PH Project,” or call the
office for more information.
Tracy Quadro
Teamwork
On the Salinas Valley “Salad Bowl Capital”
tour, we witnessed a farm team working to cultivate cauliflower
for market directly in the field. A team of 20 people worked
behind a tractor with a conveyer belt. Workers moved behind the
truck chopping cauliflower from the stalk. This was passed to
the next person who wrapped the cauliflower in plastic wrap.
The next person placed the produce in the box. The next person
moved the filled boxes to the top of the tractor. The next person
assembled more boxes as the team continued to start the process
all over again. A boss man or “jefe” watched the progress
and monitored the group as the tractor rolled along down the
row.
Some of us may take for granted the teamwork required to execute
this task that provides us with fresh vegetables in the grocery
store. Many teams work like this in the field to bring our vegetables
to market. This particular team had fine tuned their process
so the team work flowed.
Even though this team had their process down, it reminds us that
teamwork is not always easy in the workplace. It takes time to
develop a strategy that works for everyone. It is not always
automatic and attempts at teamwork are ripe for conflict in any
organization.
Community Mediation Services offers trainings for teams that
are having difficulty working together or want to improve their
teamwork. We conduct trainings in communication issues and conflict
resolution styles. We can customize a plan for the particular
struggles your organization faces. The training is reasonably
priced, and it is well worth the investment if you consider the
cost of lost productivity due to people simply not working well
together. Don’t delay and let your company be bogged down
when teamwork isn’t working. Call CMS about our team building
program today!
Amy Wilmot
CMS Holds DHHS Training
This year, CMS holds the contract to provide
services to the Office of Adult Mental Health Services, and grievance
cases for the DHHS Department of Children’s Services. We
will no longer provide mediation services to the Department of
Adult Mental Retardation.
To prepare for this change, CMS recently held a training with
Lisa Wallace, david Hutchins and Kelly Staples of the Department
to bring our mediators up to speed and train new mediators. As
a result, we now have a new generation of mediators to help fulfill
our obligations under the contract. This training was recorded,
and the resulting DVD of the session will be played again soon
for those who could not attend in June.
If you are a trained mediator and would like to provide service
to the DHHS, please consider attending our make-up session, to
be held on September 20 from 4-8 PM at the Muskie School in Augusta.
Only those who have attended one of the trainings will be given
the opportunity to mediate future DHHS cases. Call the office
for more information.
Hails and Farewells
Thank You for Serving as
a Board Members
Taylor Fawns, our former board chairperson,
leaves CMS (and Maine) to relocate near family in Tennessee.
We thank Taylor for his years of leadership and guidance.
CMS also says goodbye to board member Tom Ward of Hallowell.
We appreciate the knowledge and resources Tom brought to the
board through his many years’ experience as a disabilities
rights advocate.
Lastly, CMS thanks Jennifer Fox for her direction and help with
ideas for marketing and fundraising.
Our best wishes to you all!
Back to Home |
Old Hallowell Day Kids’ Games
This year, CMS decided to play an active role
in Old Hallowell Day by volunteering to organize the Kids’
Games. CMS was happy to help and spread the word about our services,
so it was a “win/win” situation. CMS was pleased to
work with families this year, believing that peace begins at
home”, said Tracy Quadro, Executive Director. “It is
our hope that our greater visibility in the our home community
will encourage our neighbors to think of us when they have conflicts
with their teens, parents, landlords, tenants, neighbors, and
others”.
With the advice and support of the Old Hallowell Day committee,
CMS made a plan. From 11 a.m. – 4 p.m., games and fun were
scheduled for kids of ALL ages down at the Hallowell Boat launch.
After many spring committee meetings, all was in order….now
would the weather help us out?
July 21st was a spectacular summer day with temperatures of mid
70 – 80’s. This weather drew in the crowds along with
the community parade that drew attention down to the boat ramp.
The Collaborative Games kicked off the festivities. Participants
of all ages (9 months to 62 years) eagerly lined up for the contests.
The baby crawl drew many giggles from the crowd, when a child’s
parents cheered her on waving her baby’s blanket at the
finish line. Participants lined up to compete in the crab crawl,
sack race, and three legged race… all made it to the finish
line and were winners. The parents in the three legged race received
enthusiastic cheers from their kids on the side lines.
The Arts, Crafts and Face Painting tent was
very popular. Many kids challenged the CMS board and staff to
paint everything from Spiderman to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Many
smiling lions, dogs, cats, butterflies, bugs and pirates walked
Hallowell streets throughout the day.
If the kids weren’t tuckered out from the games, they had
the opportunity to bounce around in a fun bouncy house brought
in by Castle Entertainment. They provided old fashioned games
so the winner of the ring toss received a prize of a peace sign
or other smiling face trinket.
The next highlight was the magic show from Magic Mark. A crowd
formed to marvel at his tricks. The crowd was quiet as they tried
to figure out what would happen next. It was a mystery but all
loved the magician.
Next, Martin Swinger entertained the crowd
with wonderful kid’s songs.
Folks sang along in the shade of a tree on the Kennebec. And
the crowd chilled out some more with the bluesy tunes of the
Good Rockin’ Daddies to mellow us out at the end of the
day.
All in all it was a day packed with fun and smiling faces. Special
thanks to our board for their time and enthusiasm, and my family
for their extra help. And an extra special thanks to all the
volunteers at Old Hallowell Day Committee. It’s comprised
of a small group of thoughtful volunteers that organize this
large community event each year. That is no easy feat! And did
you notice how clean the streets are the day after? You can thank
the Hallowell public works crew! If you are interested or have
questions about Old Hallowell Days, sign up and volunteer to
help next year. Your community needs you!
Amy Wilmot
From the Director—The Neutral
as Advocate?
I recently spoke to someone about the seeming
contradiction between my past life as an attorney/advocate (with
the Disability Law Project and Education Law Center in Pittsburgh)
and my current life as a neutral. How can I reconcile these two
roles? Was it hard for me to make the switch from advocate to
mediator? Actually, no – because I’m still an advocate!
I just advocate for different things now.
Attorneys in a conflict resolution process have the task of making
sure that their client’s interests are served under the
most favorable interpretation of the relevant statute. It’s
a crucial role in an adversarial legal system, without which
many parties to a dispute may not be treated fairly. Even in
civil cases, the lawyer is a strong defender of his or her client’s
position.
The mediator’s role, on the other hand, is to advocate for
the voices of all participants to be heard, and for a fair application
of the process. Unlike attorneys, we do not champion one side
or the other in a dispute. We defend the process while recognizing
and acknowledging each party’s position. This function is
crucial in the endeavor to reach resolution or understanding.
The mediator is an advocate for the assurance that the process
is faithfully followed and every party feels heard. I think every
mediator who has practiced for any length of time has had the
experience of having to call a caucus or “time out”
to educate an overzealous attorney or steam-rolling participant
in the mediation. It is our job to coax appreciation that, in
this process, each party will have his or her say.
This edition of our newsletter is full of rich information about
how our community mediation center is bringing people together
to appreciate one another’s differences in style, opinion,
desire and basic needs. We invite you to remember to think of
us when your voice is in need of a little advocacy! Tracy Quadro
Recently, I met someone who asked whether I was in one of the
healing professions. I told him no, knowing that he was asking
whether I was a medical professional of some sort, or a member
of the clergy or other spiritual advisor, or a practitioner of
a non-traditional healing art. But later on, I thought more deeply
about it, and decided that a truer answer would have been “yes!”
For mediators do, indeed, perform miraculous acts of healing
at every session.
There is more to healing, after all, than
fixing the ailments of the body and mind. As conflict specialists,
we heal the hurts between family members, mend the rifts between
neighbors, salve the wounds brought on by stress in the workplace
or school, cure the animosity between formerly good friends.
While traditional healing professions heal
one individual at a time, we have the ability to inoculate entire
countries through diplomatic conversations, communities at one
town meeting, and relationships two people at a time across a
table or sitting together on a couch. And more miraculously,
sometimes this power to heal manifests as a nod, a touch of the
hand or a word in the right direction. As our former Coordinator
would say: “Hallelujah, Brothers and Sisters!”
Well, for fear of our mediator heads growing
large with self-importance, let’s bring the power back to
where it belongs. For, of course, the power does not lie in the
hands of the mediators, but in the hearts of the participants.
It is completely up to the parties whether to heal or continue
to harm. They have the illness, but also the cure – communication
being the most potent medicine available. The mediators provide
the treatment room, and the guidance. Participant, heal thyself.
So am I in a healing profession? I am privileged
to be part of a profession that sees its share of healing moments
every day. Am I a healer? Perhaps I set in motion the process
to make the healing happen. But I am sure that I am personally
healed by the smiles, the handshakes and the embraces between
those formerly at odds, and am honored to be afforded the opportunity
to witness these miracles on a regular basis.Mediation –
healing the world two (or more!) people at a time…Tracy Quadro
C.A.M.P. 2007
Since 2004, Community Mediation Services has
been the official U.S. Department of Agriculture certified agricultural
mediation program for Maine. This program offers free mediation
to farmers across the state. CMS mediates any dispute affecting
an agricultural operation, unfavorable decisions made by USDA
agencies, conflicts between farmers and their neighbors and communities,
agricultural credit issues or family farm or estate planning
concerns.
Across the country, there are 32 states that also have agricultural
mediation programs. These programs have formed the Coalition
of Agricultural Mediation Programs (C.A.M.P.) which holds a yearly
conference. After hosting last year’s meeting, CMS was fortunate
to attend this year’s three day meeting in Monterey, California.
This conference was an opportunity for each state to share information
and improve their mediation programs. The groups explored topics
with USDA staff regarding the effectiveness of mediation. The
group discussed options and strategies for promoting the process
with the USDA agencies, as well as with producers. We discussed
CAMP standards of best practices and confidentiality and liability
issues. The USDA gave a presentation from the Farm Service Agency
and Rural Development sectors about their experiences with mediation.
Committees were formed regarding education, legislative, membership,
finance, ethics and data collection and work plans were formed
until the next year’s conference.
On the last afternoon, we all headed out on an agricultural tour
of Salinas Valley fondly known as the “The Salad Bowl of
the World”. For miles and miles, we saw fields of vegetables
from salad greens, to artichokes, to strawberries. The tour guide
explained the process of the “outdoor factories”. Systems
ran according to clockwork, growing the vegetables from seed,
to picking them to arrive fresh at your table. The climate of
warm days and cool nights are perfect for producing quality vegetables
year round. If you are ever in this area of the country, a tour
of this region is a must.
The days were packed with interesting topics. The CMS mediators
came back refreshed and ready to tackle the next year’s
programs. From the inspiration of the outreach work from other
states, we developed a new brochure for the AG program and ordered
new posters telling a mediation story…“Mediation: It’s
your Solution!”
Amy Wilmot
Dealing with Difficult People
Team work can be challenging in any organization,
but often we find that working with someone we find difficult
can be the most challenging. At the CAMP conference, a mediator,
Dr. Susan Christy, presented help for this particular situation
and information on how to deal with difficult people.
She suggested that, to deal with difficult people, we need to
step back and understand them. Interacting by using positive
communication and defusing anger and emotion are all tools of
the trade. It is also important to identify and articulate the
needs behind the difficult behavior. And to keep your own sanity,
it is important to set limits and stand up for yourself.
Dr. Christy said “People who are a pain are usually people
in pain. They often operate from low self esteem, hide their
inner feelings, and communicate indirectly. Often you will see
them jumping to conclusions, relate only to the inner pictures/storyboard
inside their head. In the worst cases, they want to control or
try to manipulate someone.”
When faced with a difficult person, it is important to respond
to their inner feelings rather than their behavior, and avoid
reacting. Recognize what their underlying feelings might be …this
will explain their behavior. Are they feeling powerless, frustrated,
afraid, anxious, hurt, or helpless? You may decide to listen,
but not agree. Depending on their style as an aggressor, complainer,
victim, manipulator or pleaser, assert yourself or try to assist
with joint problem solving.
Another important point Dr. Christy addressed was positive communication.
“It is important to avoid gasoline words and phrases and
banish them from your talks”. “You have to…, you
always…, you should…you never” aren’t the
best choices. Try using “I” statements to get your
point across. Use positive language by saying what you can do
to help. If behavior escalates and is unacceptable, know your
limits. Assert yourself by asking for what you need or want.
Or distance yourself emotionally or physically from the situation
until things cools down.
Anger is often a cover emotion for someone who feels frustrated,
blocked, confused, scared, out of control or disappointed, and
then responds by acting angry towards you. They may be experiencing
some loss: help them to understand the 5 stages of loss (Denial,
Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance).
In summary, if a person is upset and angry, try these 6 steps.
1) Control Yourself – Don’t Take it Personally 2) Listen,
Listen, Listen – Remember to listen to understand then speak
to be understood 3) Reflect and Clarify the content and feelings
of the discussion 4) Communicate Positively 5) Take care of yourself
By identifying and articulating the
needs beneath the difficult behavior, it is amazing how attitudes
can change, situations can change, and people can change.
Most of all, Dr. Christy said “in dealing with difficult
people, it is important to recognize that sometimes, WE can be
difficult, too!”
Amy Wilmot
The following professionals have mediated
cases for CMS since our Spring 2006 Newsletter.
Thank you!
|
John Alfano |
Eric James |
Chris Naegle |
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Frances Berta |
Bob Glidden |
Mary Beth Paquette |
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Chrisanne Blackie |
Marie Hansen |
Peter Phillips |
|
Joanne Boynton |
Nancy Lavertu |
Tracy Quadro |
|
Carol Corwin |
Bambi Magaw |
Brad Smith |
|
Leanne Diehl |
Eileen Maguire |
David Webb |
|
Jennifer Fox |
Austin Moore |
Amy Wilmot |
Thank you for the many hours,
the support, the kindness and the peacemaking.
We are proud of the work
that comes from our combined efforts.
Thank You to Our Grant Sources for
Providing
the Necessary Foundation for CMS
Department of Health and
Human Services
United States Department
of Agriculture
Department of Corrections, Juvenile Services
Oak Grove School Foundation
Lewis Joseph Fisher Foundation
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